PEED SKILLS

Wow! What an eventful day it's been so far. Up at 7 this morning to take the Frog to nursery school, an event in itself as it is usually after eight before I even begin to think of stirring.

I'd only had time for about one and a half coffees and a similar number of cigarettes when the doorbell rang. It was the Magyar equivalent of DHL with a consignment of examination scripts. Somehow managing to suppress my joy and excitement, I made it back into the house to continue bringing my caffeine levels up to that which would enable me to feel approximately, but not quite, human and to manipulate the Frog into a state which could, again, only approximately be described as dressed.

Idris informs me we're running late so I gulp down the last of the coffee, flick the ciggie in the general direction of the sink, pluck the Frog from in front of the TV and bundle her into the car. There we wait the requisite 10 minutes while Idris does whatever it is females do during the time between declaring themselves ready and actually being so. We pass the time, as is our wont, exchanging insults...it was early...the best she could up with was "shitty pants" after I'd hit her with "ginger frog-eyed sprite."

So, off to the nursery school, the ATM to withdraw the deposit on the car and off to the showroom to sign the contracts. On the way there, Idris informs me that her night had been spent in a froth of worry about money, credit and cars and that she was entertaining what may be described as second thoughts. Bollocks, bollocks and yet again, bollocks.

If I may just explain at this point that although vast quantities of the folding leap out of my wallet at regular intervals like scalded salmon for trivial little purchases like a house or vehicular transportation, that which it buys is not mine own. Not a sausage. Squat. Nada. For reasons of simplicity, everything is in her name and should she refuse to sign on the dotted, no new car for Si.

Fortunately, these clouds of worry vapourise within about three tenths of a second of her seeing the model in the showroom and from then on I have my hands full keeping her hands off my credit card to pay for it there and then.

Anyway, she signs...I was worried the sparks flying off the pen would ignite the contract...the deposit is paid and the car is ordered. Because it is a limited edition, there are none in stock. In fact, it will not have been built until two weeks from today. A further two weeks for delivery and then...my first, very first ever, new car. Why am I so inordinately excited about this, I wonder? No, that way lies the path of far too much self knowledge than is good for me.

So, drop Idris off in town and return home to the examination scripts the allure of which is such that I reach for my camera and take those shots you see below. A bit of blogging later and the attraction factor of said scripts is still hovering in the minus zone when the doorbell rings again.

It's that awfully nice man from the cable company and he's come to replace my modem. Yer wot? Apparently, the whole network is being upgraded and my old cable modem connection of 10.0Mbps will spontaneously combust if not changed before the upgrade. Oh, right. Do your stuff, then.

So it is that I am now looking down on a rather nifty little Motorola cable modem and, as I move my mouse over the icon in my toolbar, I am informed that I am now the proud owner of a 100.0Mbps internet connection. Blimey! Thing is, I won't notice any increase in speed until everybody has had their old modem replaced which won't be until some time in August. In my present state of hyper-activity, examination scripts excepted of course, I'm not sure I can wait that long.