SERVICE CALL

I am not what you might call a morning person at the best of times and after an evening spent with my computer friend debugging some programmes...and our stomachs with fair to middling quantities of malt...this morning was no exception.

The coffee maker had taken the Frog shopping and I was leaning on the kitchen worktop staring at nothing in particular waiting for automatic pilot to kick in and remind me of the steps I would need to take to be in possession of a restorative cup when my mobile rang.

"Jó napot, kivánok. A...." *inserts Babel fish* "Your telephone number has been selected at random and we are..."

"Whoa, whoa...a moment...do you speak English?" *removes fish*

"Oh yes, sir. Your number is one of a select few we have..."

I am afraid I interrupted at this point.

Given the facts that I was hungover, still half asleep, in pre-coffee mode and therefore without instantaneous access to my store of lexis regarding invective, I think I acquitted myself rather well. The only regret I have is that pushing a button on a mobile is no substitute for slamming down the handset.

Anyway, I feel a lot better now. Public service at its best.